How Politics Can Teach the Sandwich Generation a Lesson in Communication (tjmf-3483)

Senator Kerry said his remarks about Iraq were a joke gone awry. President Bush said neither he nor the troops saw it as funny. If you're a member of the Sandwich Generation with a family in flux and suffereing from the foot-in-mouth syndrome, use these tips toward better communication with your emerging adult children and aging parents.

See also:
First Day at Heathrow Airport' T5; Not The Finest Hour For the National Carrier - The 27th March 2008 was the day Terminal5 at Heathrow Airport was to start functioning in its quest to handle the projected 30 million passengers each year. With a 400-meter-long (quarter-mile-long) terminal, T5 is the largest freestanding building in Britain. However, the day turned out to be full...

Senator John Kerry said his remark, "If you don't study hard you get stuck in Iraq," was a joke gone awry. President George W. Bush was critical, commenting to the Associated Press that "it didn't sound like a joke to me. More important, it didn't sound like a joke to the troops." What did you think?

With the election right around the corner, the political stakes are high. Some bloggers and journalists in the Conservative camp are focused on Senator John Kerry's "campaign gaffe." Others on the Democratic team view this fixation as a GOP talking point - a smoke screen for President Bush's "inappropriately conducted war."

See also:
Commodities Stoke Inflation Fears - The Fed has cut interest rates several times in 2008. This article discusses the problems associated with inflation which has followed the interest rate cuts.

Our concern is more personal - what lessons can you, the Sandwich Generation, learn about your own communication with your emerging adult children and aging parents?

We all know that words can hurt. An offhand remark or slip of the tongue can be emotionally damaging. If the World War II motto, "loose lips sink ships," is leaving you with what has been termed the "foot-in-mouth syndrome," add the following tips to your communication toolbox.

See also:
The Plight Of Independent Travel Agencies - A look at ways independent travel agencies may be able to diversify and survive the threat from big business.

1. When addressing a sensitive issue, state a specific goal you want to accomplish. Be direct and clear in what you say. Don't accuse or blame your listener's character or ideas.

2. As body language and tone of voice count, assume a non-threatening stance and monitor your negative emotions. Be slow to complain or criticize. Take some responsibility by using "I-focused" statements to clarify that this is your personal opinion.

See also:
Challenges That The Car Hire Industry Is Facing - A look at the current financial climate and how this is affecting car companies and the services they provide.

3. Listen closely without planning your response. Be empathic to the speaker's position and ask questions for clearer understanding. Try to put yourself in the other's shoes and look at the issue from that vantage point.

4. In a conflict, count to 10 before responding. Or, instead of escalating, walk away. Take time to calm down and agree to return to the discussion later and work out a solution.

See also:
Is a US Recession Inevitable? - This article discusses the possible causes of and outcomes from a potentially impending US recession.

5. Sometimes you do know what is best. Take a stand and hold your ground when the safety or well being of your children or parents is at stake. Be patient as they grow to appreciate your position, even if it's unpopular at the time.

If political history is prologue, it seems like it is human nature to defend yourself initially. Instead of fighting back, take some time to reflect. Discuss your feelings with your family in flux about an issue that requires an apology. Use this as an opportunity - turn negative feelings into more positive ones, teach a life lesson, form a deeper connection.

About the author: Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D.& Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D. are founders of http://www.HermentorCenter.com, a website for the Sandwich Generation, and blog, http://www.NourishingRelationships.Blogspot.com. They are authors of a forthcoming book about Boomer women and their family relationships and publish a newsletter, Stepping Stones, on their website.